I’ll be going to the doctor next week to find out if I definitely have lupus. I have all of the obvious symptoms, most notably the “butterfly†or malar rash. I’m glad to know that my symptoms aren’t all in my head, as my DH suspected, but have a real root cause. I don’t know what to expect if I should get a lupus diagnosis, but I’m ok with it.
I’ve been living with fatigue and pain for a long time. The rash is new since I had the baby. That was the most bothersome thing to me recently, because I thought I had developed an allergy to something and couldn’t figure out what it was. Now I know that lupus causes photosensitivity and the rash is just my immune system going crazy. I went outside today to see if I would break out (just to test my diagnosis). I haven’t been out for any length of time for a while. So I did break out and I am experiencing some fatigue and mental confusion. I’m glad to know what’s going on there. At least I can do something about it- though that means a lot less time outdoors.
Now the hard part is going to be easing the stress in my life. I think that my family will be more supportive because my illness may have a name. Hopefully they’ll take it a lot easier on me. My husband hopes that I’ll be less depressed and confused (for lack of a better word) since finding something wrong with me. I hope he’s right. Now he can quit making me feel like some kind of hypochondriac and start taking me seriously. Ha! I’m waiting now for him to find something seriously wrong with him, then he’ll try to get me to focus on him instead. That, though, is for another time.
I feel like an old person with arthritis and always going on about her various illnesses. I hate that I don’t really have anything else to keep my mind occupied. Hopefully now I’ll be able to concentrate on other things. I read that lupus sometimes gets worse and I’m hoping that doesn’t happen with me. I can live with the rash and the aches and pains but I really don’t want to have to get a kidney transplant. Who would donate to me anyway? Certainly no one in my family. Well, maybe Little Miss. She might offer but I don’t know if it’s even legal for her to give one of her kidneys away yet. Oh, well, we’re going to be positive. All I have to do is stay out of the sun for long periods of time, get plenty of rest, meditate on a regular basis, and sometimes take some advil. I’ll be fine.
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