Guilt trips don’t work

Ok, so I don’t cave in to guilt trips. Period. I don’t like to give guilt trips either. They are just so damned ineffective, if you ask me. So, my mil is so good at this, she has my dh wrapped so tight I can’t see any part of him but his butt hairs.

What makes me write this (making no sense, I’m sure)? Well, this last week we asked mil to keep the baby a couple of times. But she was always too busy (she always seems too busy when we want her to babysit). Ok, fine, whatever. And last night she mentioned that she would be really busy today too. So, when she called and wanted to know if we wanted her to take the baby today I said “no, that’s fine.” Boy, oh boy, you would’ve thought I said “you are never to bother me again.”

When DH stopped over there today she mentioned how she was going out of town for five days and she wouldn’t be able to see baby and that was why she wanted to get her today. DH decided that her feelings were hurt. So he came home and told me what a bad daughter-in-law I am and said I should let her have baby. I said “fine. Get her ready and take her over there.”

MIL then told dh that she was going to lie down and didn’t want him to bring baby over. What? He seemed surprised that she would say something like that. I wasn’t. I just laughed. What she really wanted was to be able to tell us “no”. It’s a matter of control with her. As long as she considers us to be under her thumb then life is good. Well, for her life is good. No dh doesn’t know what to do because he was making plans for his free time. That has gone out the window now. And mil made sure that happened.

This is nothing new to me. It’s her way of throwing a temper tantrum. She won’t ask to have the baby now until she gets back from her trip. That’s fine with me. I don’t do much anyway. But dh will be hurt and do whatever he can to make his mama feel better. I just hope he doesn’t ask me to help. I’m not going to do it. I’m not playing games of control one way or the other. And I’m not going to coddle a middle aged woman because she doesn’t feel she has enough control over me. I won’t do it for my mother, and I won’t do it for his. I don’t play well like that.

I didn’t tell her “no” to be spiteful, mind you. I was thinking that she was going to be busy all day and wouldn’t pay proper attention to baby (she refuses to baby-proof her home, and it’s really dangerous). And she did ask “do you want me to take the baby?” That was a pretty straight forward question. What was I supposed to say?

Ok, I guess I’m done ranting now. I’m just sick of being under the thumb of other people. I’d love to move, but dh won’t go that far from mama. Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to come here to vent more often.

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