Cheney on “Idol”

Everyone to their phones right now! Looks like Dick Cheney wants to sing on “American Idol”. I’m doubting he’ll be singing my personal fav, “Booty Call”, though.

_{(Jason Reed/Reuters)}

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney on Friday rejected charges by Democrats that the Bush administration was mishandling Iraq and said: “If they are competent to fight this war, then I ought to be singing on American Idol.”

Happy days are here again! I’m so looking forward to that episode_[1]! I might even have to abandon “NCIS” if it’s sharing time slots with “Idol”.

Referring to a notoriously acerbic judge on the American Idol television talent contest, Miranda said, “Simon Cowell is more loved than this administration and its failed Iraq policy. Cheney wouldn’t last long on American Idol.”

I don’t know, but did’t John Ashcroft try out for that gig once? Singing something about letting an eagle soar or something equally patriotic?_[2] Too bad he didn’t make the cut. That would’ve made a lovely album. Perhaps our dear Vice-Leader will honor us by cutting a cd- something country that mentions hunting, quails, and lawyers. And if he doesn’t get to sing for Simon maybe he can wow him with his comedic routine.

A hunting accident in February, in which Cheney shot and injured a fellow quail hunter and Republican donor in Texas, also provided some stand-up comedy at the Orlando event.

While introducing the vice president, Keller said Cheney had responded to Keller’s recent votes against the administration on three issues by telling him: “Don’t be too hasty. Let’s go hunting. We’ll talk about it.”

Cheney himself said that when he returned to the White House from the hunting trip, Bush told him, “Dick, I’m 38 percent in the polls and you shot the only trial lawyer who supports me.”

I’ve got to hand it to the speech writers, they know when to throw in the fear-the-terrorists-they-will-kill-you towel. I say they should take this act on the road after, you know, retiring and leaving the governing of countries to those more suited to it. Hey, George can join in the routine too. Everyone loves to watch a monkey dance!

_{[1] Though normally I only watch it during the auditions.
[2] This is being snarky. I know he didn’t.}