I have seen a couple of things that I could regurgitate here today (Boxturtle Ben, eh?), but I’m not really feeling up to it. Remember last week’s surgery? Yeah, ok, now add to the severe pain in the right side of my face, a cold and possible sinus infection. That’s right, Gratis is dying right now. Well, not really, at this particular moment I’m a little high from all my meds, but that is not the point.
The point is I cannot think straight and should not be allowed to log into Blogger today and possibly tomorrow. Please forgive me and come again another day. Oh, and please send me lots of good pain killers, would ya? I’ll be needing them.
Update: TheMan wanted me to tell everyone what he thinks is a funny story. So, here goes.
He was dragging my doped-up ass around town today and we stopped for lunch. I decided to get a sandwich and was happily chewing when some bread got caught in my teeth. This causes me a lot of pain, so I have to dig it out. Along with the bread comes out one of my stitches (it’s time for them to work their way out, dr. said) which confused the hell out of me.
At first I thought it was something in my sandwich and I was getting quite irate. Good thing for me that my reaction time was very slow, because before I could throw a fit I realized what it was (it looked like some used up floss with a knot in the middle). That gave me a great idea.
Me: Hey, look what was in my sandwich.
TheMan: What the hell is that? Goddamned, that’s disgusting!
Me: We’re so going to get a free meal.{at this point I’m giggling like a child who heard her dad fart}
TheMan: What is that?
The look on his face made me pee my pants (well, almost). I thought he was going to lose his lunch right there. I had to tell him, because I was just laughing too hard and you’re not supposed to laugh when you’ve just found an inch-long foreign string in the lunch you just dug out of your teeth. I promptly put it in his soup, which caused him to gag even more. It was priceless (to me, at the time, because I was behaving like a child, which was fun, at the time).
Eventually, he cooled down and I shut up. Neither of us reported this to our server, who undoubtedly thought the parsley in our chowder had a little more kick than was intended. She got a good tip and we went on our way. Hopefully she didn’t notice that strange string in the soup bowl when she bussed our table.
Later in the evening, TheMan relayed this endearing tale to his uptight winger parents- while they were having their evening snack. The story may not be funny when you’re reading it here, but it’s damned hilarious when it’s retold to someone with a mouthful of cake.
Popularity: 3% [?]
Sphere: Related Content
Powered by FireStats