Special Guest- Sandra Bullock

I’m Backin’ Christopher Walken- for today
By Sandra Bullock

I’m angry all the time, and I don’t know why, but I think it may have something to do with our government. It seems that we’re being run into the ground by people that don’t know what they’re doing and don’t care how they’re doing it. Well, I have some advice for them : Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts. Why can’t they figure that out? The War on Terror, the war on gays, the war on women…where’s the middle?

I’m happy to have found someone who knows what’s going on in the world, someone I can back 100%. And that’s Christopher Walken. He knows the key to any good relationship, on-screen and off, is communication, respect, and I guess you have to like the way the other person smells — and he smells real nice. Mr. Walken takes a strong stance on the abortion issue.

“I believe in the American family. I believe that every child deserves a loving home with parents who can afford to raise and care for them. Every woman has the right to have a child when she is ready, and I believe her government has no right to force a child upon her when she is not.”

I agree 100%. Even though women are like ovens because we need 5 to 15 minutes to heat up doesn’t mean that we’re like incubators for production potential little Republicans. The government needs to step off my uterus. They need to worry about more important things, like making sure young girls don’t get pregnant in the first place and making adoption a lot easier. Quit with the abstinence only. This is why I am Christopher Walken.

I have an expensive hobby: buying homes, redoing them, tearing them down and building them up the way they want to be built. I want to be an architect. But I do that on my own dime. I don’t go blowing up other countries so that my friends can rebuild them into their idea of utopia. But since we’re already in Iraq we need to clean up our mess. Then bring the boys home!

“We are committed to Iraq now, and nothing can undo that. As President, I will not abandon our troops or the Iraqi people, both of whom have made great sacrifices in the name of peace and freedom. I will seek the aid of the world community to form a special peacekeeping coalition to assist with the consolidation of power in Iraq. My top priority will be to stabilize Iraq under this international force and end our occupation.”

Yet another reason why I am Christopher Walken. I like Chris, he’s a great friend and a great support. He’s fantastic, … And he takes a blinkingly good picture. He’s disgustingly photogenic. What more do you need in a president? Besides when we’re done with him he’ll look old and miserable, so we might as well start out with a good-looking president.

Oh, and one more thing. I love humor. I always will fall back on humor. That’s something that I think you can’t ever get enough of and, if it’s done well, it’s great. When it’s bad, it’s horrible. Can Dick Cheney and his zombie followers please just sit down? There’s nothing funny there, folks.

_{This completely falsified endorsement is not paid for by Christopher Walken for President in 2008}

***Editor’s Note***
Other Walken celeb pseudo-supporters include Jessica Alba, Halle Berry, Demi Moore, Bruce Willis, and George Clooney.

And some excellent reading on Sandra Bullock can be found here .

_{I asked Sandra if she would be my guest blogger. She promptly informed me that she didn’t know who the hell I was and if I didn’t leave her alone she was going to run over me with a bus. So, being sadly dismissed, I found various Sandra B. quotes, sliced and diced and produced the work you’re reading now. I’m sure she won’t mind.}