I’m a 32 year-old woman living in a very redneck area of the world. I once had a nurse tell me that there was more domestic violence, alcoholism, and drug abuse in this area per capita than in Cleveland (where she is from). I know this is a bad area for women because I’ve lived here long enough to live through it. So, let’s get personal, shall we?
When I was a child I was molested by my own father- he eventually spent time in prison for raping my 12 year-old step sister. My mother was a psychological wreck who went through a string of abusive boyfriends and took her hard life out on the children she couldn’t stand- meaning me and my brother. When I was 14 my 21 year-old boyfriend shacked up with us, so he could pay for my mom’s rent and drugs. It was now my turn in the cycle of domestic violence. Should I go on? Ok, I will.
When I was 16 I finally got rid of the fuck who liked to beat me, only to be raped by a friend. I was told to keep quiet because no one gave a fuck about me anyway. Would it surprise you to learn that I ran wild and finally ended up pregnant at 17? It shouldn’t. It took me a long time to realize that sex wasn’t a good way to go about healing.
At 19 I met another abuser and stayed with him for 4 years. He did a way better job of beating the shit out of me than the previous boyfriend. I thought this kind of behavior was normal. But what the hell did I know? And because he was black the cops in this town figured I deserved that too. I should have known better than to get involved with another “O.J.” afterall. Finally I got away from that one and, after a couple of years of good therapy, I was ready to move the fuck on with my life.
Oh, did I mention that my brother wasn’t so lucky? He’s an alcoholic,crack-addicted inmate in the state prison system right now. Just thought I’d mention that.
Why am I going into all of this right now? Because I have a fucking right to laugh, goddamnit! I have a right to see “D-Ho” and not be offended by it. I have earned a right to be outraged at the shit in this world and not give a flying fuck about high-and-mighty people who get their panties in a bunch over trivial nonsense. Am I not feminist or leftist enough because I don’t get offended by this unimportant garbage? Of course I am. I earned my feminism through the lumps I took, through therapy to fix me, for the martial arts I fucking mastered, and for teaching my own daughters that they will not continue the cycle my mother passed on to me. I may not be morally superior (gods know I’ve been a very bad girl in my time) but I’ve earned the right to laugh my ass off at stupid, corny, tasteless jokes.
Sometimes a laugh is good- especially at the expense of real racists and sexists. Sometimes joining in the fun is good. Sometimes not seeing a victim in every little word, in every little action is good. Save the righteous indignation for that which really deserves it. Let me give you a hint- DY (name redacted).
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