No Tribute here

Believe it or not there will be no 9/11 Tribute™ on this blog today. I’m actually pretty disgusted with the politicalization of the whole thing. My own Congress critter is using the tragedy in his political ads, saying that his opposition basically aided and abetted the terrorists. That makes me sick. My Congress critter is an incumbent and I want to ask him “Where in the world is Osama bin Laden?”. FOAD, motherfucker, for taking something so tragic and trivializing it. Suck donkey turds, asshole, I hope you lose and go bankrupt. That goes for ABC/Disney too. Bankruptcy hell will be too good for you money grubbing, lying pieces of shit. Just sayin’

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On to more cheerful things. Don’t we all need a little cheer? Yeah? I thought so.

My life is really boring. That being the damned, sickening, awful truth I will be talking about commercials today. I mean, honestly, some of these commercials make my eyes roll so much that it feels like I’m on some kind of carnival ride- going ’round and ’round. Like those diet aide commercials. Ok, so one of them comes up with the bright idea that they should photoshop the model to be fatter than she’s ever been in her life. And then have that fatter self tramp around in a bikini. Then, of course, we see her in the exact same pose but 432 pounds thinner. Are you serious? Of course, there’s some poor soul looking at the t.v., sighing desperately and counting pennies- just praying that she has enough loose change to buy this shit. Damned idiots. Now I’ve noticed a few more diet pill ads doing the same fucking thing. And that pisses me off. You lost 45 pounds in 9 weeks? Lying bitch. And if you did then you’re sick and should see your doctor today because your life depends on it. Really. Um, yeah, I’ll pass on that miracle, thanks, and remain @#@ pounds overweight. Perhaps I’ll binge, gain a hundred more pounds and join the Starr Jones diet plan. It just costs a couple of thousands of dollars and you can lose 50 pounds in 5 hours. Liposuction/gastric bypass, bitches! It’s all the rage.*gag*

Then there’s the KY warming lotion commercial thingy. If you have to say anything more than “Wanna get it on?” to your man to get him in bed then I would suggest seeing a couple’s counselor or perhaps hiring a P.I. No, really. I don’t know many men (and, sadly, I know/have known more than my fair share) that would need that much bribing from a hot chick/dude to get a free lay. “Hmm, that did the trick”? Girlfriend, shut the fuck up, ok? Cialis and Viagra would do the trick if bribery is needed, warming gel, um, not so much. Just go down and grab the man by his little friend, look him in the eye and say “Let’s go. Now.” That’s all you need to do. Trust me. I know about these things.

Oh, and we struggled through “Talladaga Nights” (or whatever the fuck it’s called). It’s Will Farrell paying tribute to/making fun of NASCAR. I am sorry to say that TheMan is a die-hard NASCAR fan and wanted to see this movie (I wanted horror, but whatever). Don’t bother with this movie. Wait until it comes to Comedy Central or something. It’s kind of funny at certain points, but man does it fall flat most of the time. I do believe we wasted too much money going to see this movie. Oh, and it’s not funny seeing little kids cussing out their grandpa, ok? Really. If my kids acted like that I’d flatten ‘em, for real. Ok, this was going someplace, but I lost it. Fuck! I really hate that. Anyway, I was all for NASCAR parody because it sucks ass, but this just didn’t do it for me. Oh! And I found out there’s another “Grudge” coming out. Yeah, it didn’t work the first time so they’re sending us a sequel. Dumbasses.

That’s all, folks. Move along now.

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