I found out today that if you visit a blog more than once a day you’re a stalker. You visit, but you don’t comment? Well, guess what? That doesn’t matter because your IP showed up in the stats page. And, no, I don’t care if you don’t have a shrine devoted to me in your livingroom (why don’t you, by the way?) or that you don’t know what time I use the pot every morning. Because I saw your IP address pop up on my stats page more than once in a 24 hour period. And that means you love me (or really, really hate me). So, I will cause drama, which will cause you to come back again and again and then I will see you in my stats again which will prove to me yet again that YOU ARE A STALKER! And then I will post about you, dear stalker, and you will be forced to read again and the cycle will continue. I know you’re just hoping that one day I’ll give you the perfect clue to where I live so you can stand on the curb across the street from my house and just watch. But you won’t be able to see anything interesting because I’ll be posting about seeing you in my stats! Wheee!
I know you’re there. I can feel your eyes on the screen right now, just waiting for a new post to come up. You are drooling for want of my wit and charm and bad-assitude. I know it, you know it, and now the rest of the world knows it. Mwahahaha! I’m a evil genius.*
* /snark, just in case someone comes along and thinks I’m serious and, and, why the hell do I need to tell people that? Hmmmph.
P.S.
Why does my internet connection go all wonky when it rains? Fuckola, but I don’t have Hughs internet (or whatever)- I’m on goddamned DSL! Eat shit, Verizon, I HATE YOU!
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Holy, sheeyit! I’m goin’ to jail then or somethin. I visit my entire blogroll prolly 3-5 times a day, more if there’s an interesting comments/convo on.
I think I visited every blogger in Blogland 10 times today cuz I was having a sinus attack and couldn’t focus on anything. Now I’m wide awake from the sinus drugs and will visit them again and again!! Some WILL think I’m stalking and I say let them worry, muahahahahaha.
Hi, one of your stalkers here. I’ll be back tomorrow, and likely will not leave a comment, as usual. Today was exceptional. I have to respond to a post about me, y’know. OK, gotta run. More blogs to stalk!
I stalk, but loudly.
Ah-ha! I caught you all! I knew I had you under my spell.
Honestly, though, I did run across someone that was complaining of stalkers because people were coming to her site more than once a day. I found that down right hilarious. And, yet, this same person seems to want hits. So, I had to laugh and giggle.
People are nuts. There’s a newsflash!
I’m such a stalker. We have a club you know. They give us cool shoes.
OMG, it just so happened that I was stalking your blog AS I READ THIS POST!
Spooky!
LOL!!!!!
Hello. My name is Awaiting and I am a stalker.
Please pray for me as I try ever so hard to overcome this life destroying addiction.
Step 1….please forgive me, Jinxi, for stalking you to no end. I apologize, but your wit, humor and intelligence keeps me coming back for more.
I can only dream of a day with no stalking.
Yeah, I stalk your blog. I stalk it all the time. Are you skeered? You oughta be. you oughta be skeered and shaking right now.
You know, it’s pretty sad but there are people who actually believe what you said about “if you visit a blog more than once a day you’re a stalker.” Hello, blogs are public right? As in, displayed for all the world to see? As comments continue to mount up, it’s kind of like returning to a discussion group and reading what people wrote, and there’s no “rule” about how often you visit or whether you comment or not. Some blogs I visit more than once a day are written by bloggers I don’t give a shit about and really don’t like at all, but I go back to read the comments. (And no, I do NOT mean you.)
Some people are just paranoid dipshits and that’s that.
Jeff,
Please keep it down. I prefer my stalkers to watch me quietly, and in the shadows. Makes me feel all important and shit.
Paula,
I fall into that category. But then I’m not overly concerned with my stats page (except for the google referrers, because those are hilarious), so I guess I’m not that nuts.
Nikki,
I want to join the club! I don’t have any shoes and, boy, they sure would come in handy right about now.:)
Webmiztris,
OMG! I knew it. I could feel your eyes burning a whole into my keyboard! I must be psychic! That’s it, I’m playing the lottery tonight for sure.
Awaiting,
You’re forgiven. I expect a check in the mail any day now.
PJ,
I saw someone like that recently. It was hilarious. There was some kind of kerfuffle going down and someone was, you’ll never believe it, refreshing this chick’s page. Then the author of said blog decided this person was stalking…blah, blah, blah. I’m pretty sure, though, it was my IP she published when she made the announcement that she had just one more stalker. Didn’t help that I kept refreshing the page just to annoy her.:) My stalkers all love me, so I wasn’t worried that you were talking about me. I understand, though, exactly what you mean. It’s like watching a trainwreck at some of those places (like the blog I just mentioned). What a hoot!