Holy shitballs™, two whole days with the in laws. Oh gods, but I’m worn out. And I think I’ve been poisoned.
Yesterday we went to Lake Aquatic Park, or whatever it’s called. It was fun. It’s a pool with a couple of bomb-diggity water slides, a water playground, some mushrooms shower-thingies, and lots of kids. The pool is huge, though, so we weren’t getting jabbed with elbows and other pointy body parts, which was nice. Baby didn’t like it at first, but warmed up in no time. This meant that she got brave enough to try to jump in the deep in (deep meaning it was all of three feet). Considering what happened to Dawg’s little man I was uber vigilant and couldn’t bear to allow anyone but me to tend to her while she was in the water. We stayed for 6 hours. Lots and lots of swimming. Luckily, Millie and Auntie Maim weren’t fond of the idea of messing up their dos, so they didn’t accompany me into the water. So, no conversation was had. Yay! What a relief.
Today was the annual 4th of July Snoozelbration. We went to Millie’s along with the rest of the in laws. The loud-mouthed heiffer was there (I forget what I named her), but we pretty much stayed out of each other’s way. TheMan brought Otie along with us, so we had to sit outside and take turns babysitting him. Oh the horror! Everyone else was inside sitting at the nicely dressed table, with perfect dishes, lovely silver, shiny glasses, eating hotdogs and hamburgers. Mwahaha! The kids all sat outside with me. I took a couple of bites of the all beef patty and promptly decided Otie would get more joy out of it. And he did. Good thing too because now my stomach is muy queasy. Considering that I barely ate anything at all I’m pretty sure it was the burger. After 5 years of Snoozelbrations I should really know that when Millie’s got control of the meat cooking I should not eat the meat. Really. Baby spent most of her time at the neighbor’s being pampered by their 6 year-old little girl. Very cute. She didn’t have a burger and, thankfully, isn’t feeling the least bit sick right now. I’m pretty sure I was poisoned but, alas, won’t be able to prove it- having fed the evidence to the dog.:)
At any rate, I found ways to make sure there was no way I would have to sit through another holier-than-thou gossip session and am better for it. I almost got caught off guard when someone asked why Lil’ Miss wasn’t getting along with her evil StepMother- but I bit my tongue and made up the most outlandish story (instead losing my temper because of people lying about my kid’s situation and the whole family gossip bullshit). I said that StepMother was having an affair (true) and that Biological and Lil’ Miss conspired to catch her in the act. I said that Lil’ Miss set her (StepMother) up to meet her lover and that Biological was there instead. And so StepMother was refusing to allow Lil’ Miss any contact with her sisters and that Lil’ Miss and StepMother got into a knock-down-drag-out skirmish on the beach. That was why things weren’t going so great. And what was I supposed to do anyway? Well, I’m sure while I was outside enjoying the company of the children they were discussing these facts among themselves in the most put upon harpie tones. Too bad I missed it.:)
In other news, my proofreading job is on hold for 30-60 days. Great. That means that I’ve got to find some way to make some money. More great. As I was perusing the work-at-home websites I ran across a link exchange thread. OMG! It was hilarious. Some of the wahms were just appalled at the language they’ve come across on the web. And people are just so mean to each other. In on wahm’s opinion “Bloggies (my new catch-all word for anyone who reads or writes a blog — or both) should be friends IMO.” Mwahaha! Yeah, right. I will say, though, that these ladies are only used to blogging for money- payperpost, adsense, SEO, etc. They obviously don’t get out of their little niches much. Ha! I almost left a link to here on that thread, but then thought better of it. Can you imagine the fits and convulsions some of these women would experience reading through my stuff? OMG! They’d get the vapors or some such rot. Ha! Where’s my handkerchief, Margaret?
Fuck, but I’m sick. I really should just go lie down, but I’m pretty sure that’ll just make it worse. What the hell. At least we’ve got rain tonight, which means that it won’t be too dry to have fireworks on Saturday (which would be July 7, but who’s keeping track?). That’s a big fat WOOT. I wanted to go see the ones in Canton, because they’re really good, but we suck and so won’t be going.
How was your fabulous Wednesday?
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Well, after taking Avelox for 12 days and putting up with its horrible side effects I still have a fever and stuffed nose. So I have to keep taking the 12 hour Sudafed, which makes me insane with thirst. That’s the starting point here, plus a headache, of course. But I actually had a nice time at the in-laws! Very weird. The kids were all good, the adults behaved, and the food was yummy. My little girl went to her friend’s house to swim and watch fireworks later, and my eldest just left to walk to the beach with her friends. We ordered pizza for dinner with the group of kids, and it was good. Haven’t had real pizza for ages, and Domino’s definitely beats Lean Cuisine. Now we’re just chillin’. Nice day.
Um Dude, you should have left a link….to my blog too…..HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
We stayed at home. None of us were feeling all that great.
Glad the poison hasn’t killed you yet….but you have time yet.
Miz UV,
Sounds like you had a blast. I’m officially jealous.
Nikki,
You silly goose! See what happens you when miss out on all the fun? I moved most of my blogroll to the page that says “Full Links List” and the sidebar one rotates different ones in and out. I’m all cool like that, dontcha know?:) Mwahahaha! You’re still there, my dahling.
i’m loving the Stepmother story!
What Dawn said. I don’t understand why you don’t participate in the put upon harpie-ing (great phrase!). You should get paid for spinning yarns like that. So, there ya go.
You could leave them a link to American Asshole!
I got drunk with some friends I haven’t seen in a long time and blew off the fireworks. I’m not sure if the slight hangover made Grand Jury duty better or worse.
Dawn,
Thankee! I’ve come to the decision that, from now on, whenever anyone asks an inappropriate question I will regale them with my comedic genius. Of course, I have that whole “I’m very serious” look going on for me, so dim wits don’t ever get my sense of humor. And that’s what’s going to make my ploy work.
O’Tim,
I wish. Unfortunately it’s only funny when it’s free. So sad.
Joe,
I was momentarily confused by your comment, and then my brain kicked in! I know, you didn’t really need to know that, but my fingers are going a mile a minute and there’s no stopping me now.
I should link to “American Asshole”. But as much as the title would send them… Oh, wait. Yes. Many of them think Bush is the best thing since peanut butter and jelly, so that would be perfect. Mwahaha! I might get kicked off the board, though, which could be bad. What, with me trying to network and all.