I’m pissed. My hatred for Verizon pales in comparison to my current hatred of the Gates empire. Well, until my flippin’ Internet gets all wonky again, but right now Bill Gates can lick toe fungus.
I was sitting happily typing away, all fired up about that goddamned Hillary Clinton (good grief, but I can’t stand her). I had the most delicious rant about her going. Only thing is I didn’t save it. Not once. Saving requires stopping my fingers and grabbing the mouse. I had no time for that nonsense. And the next thing you know, here comes Baby. Of course, I love my child, but at this particular point in her life she is hell on wheels. She’s laughing and giggling, doing her cute thing. Then BOOM! The dreaded blue screen…”Windows is now shutting down”. Motherfucker! What the hell! She pushed the flippin’ power button. And there goes my rant. Down the tubes of Gates short-sightedness.
Here’s the thing. Being a father and, supposedly, uber smart, he should know that someone’s kid somewhere at sometime is going to hit the damned POWER BUTTON. And during that time, one of said kid’s parents will most certainly be working on something spectacular, which will get sucked down the goddamned Windows memory hole. He of the computer geek Gods should know this and prepare for it. This would save countless minutes, hours, and days by cutting back on parental cursing. Doesn’t he realize that my child is a delicate flower and isn’t supposed to hear those kinds of words? Doesn’t he realize that I will scream, cry, and holler when my darling’s little fingers push that button?
Yes, I should have probably saved it the very second I felt that rant coming on. Duh! But holy shitballs™, I was on a roll! Stopping is bad, bad, bad. And now because I don’t have any tequila I’m forced to drink some beer to take away the pain. I blame Bill Gates for it all. Before it’s all over I’ll be blogging drunk again and I swear to all that’s good and holy I will not avoid commenting on any blogs this time. Oh no, if I have to suffer you all have to suffer.
In other news…
Baby and I were on the porch today while I was talking to Other Sis on the phone. I’m telling Other Sis all about DB when I look and Baby is taking off through the front yard. As I’m on my way to get her (she was heading for those crazy, fuzzy purple flower things), she rips off her pull-ups and starts dancing- stark nekkid. Did I mention she only had on a pull-up? Well, it was so hot today, give me a break, people! Anyway, the chase was on after that. I told her “A spider’s going to get in your cooch.” I swear, she laughed at me. Man, it was rough going for me there for a minute (the other day I twisted my hip of all things), but I finally caught the little streaker. I said to my sister “Your niece is stripping in the yard” and Baby starts singing “I’mma stripper! I’mma stripper!”. Mwahahaha!
Now, I suppose I could have told her “No, honey, you’re not a stripper” or some such nonsense. But I didn’t. Instead “That’s right. You’re a stripper. But little strippers don’t take their diappies off in the yard, young lady.” Ha! I can’t wait for Millie to come back from Michigan now. Just so I can see her face when Baby says “Grammy! I’mma stripper!”.
That will be gold.
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15 Comments
I feel your pain…I’ve lost hours of work by not just taking a moment and saving…why just today I was working on a drawing for 3 hours and I hadn’t saved in about 60 minutes (which isn’t like me) but you get distracted and forget….well I didn’t lose it today but it happens and I’ve nearly gone insane when it has…well more insane let’s say.
“That will be gold.”
Especially if you install a pole in the living room before then.
Hah! I used to lurve getting my mom going with stuff like that, but now that she’s 76 I’m a bit nicer. Just a bit!
I hope this doesn’t mean that Hillary (’Hill the Shill’ - hey, there’s an idea for a bumper sticker) is off the hook permanently, Jenny? I’m sure she’ll piss you off again before too long
jerrster,
Rub it in why don’t ya? I’m way more patient with images. I was working on one for a couple of hours one time and POOF! Since I started saving those after every step. You should’ve heard me cussing then. I’m pretty sure my grandmother slapped me from her grave.:)
Joe,
What a wonderful idea! I would do that except then I’d probably run into the damned thing every time I walked in there. I’m not the most graceful person, you know. But I could show Baby how to dance around the jungle gym poles singing “I’mma stripper”. Millie would lose her mind.
Miz UV,
Unfortunately I can’t get my mom. She’s pretty smart about that kind of stuff, and crazy though she is she has a tremendous sense of humor- unlike Millie. Millie is fun for me because she just doesn’t get it when I’m fucking with her. I could mess with her mind all day long and she’d never figure out I was doing it.:)
Cheezy,
No, I won’t forget. That damned woman drives me bonkers. And then I run into her supporters and they just can’t see that she’s no better than the rest of them- Bill’s wife or not. It’s coming, don’t you worry. Grrr…that woman makes me want to pull my hair out.
I use Final Draft for my screenwriting efforts. It has some flaws (like the most stupidest spell-checker in the known universe which determined when I typed “blad” it assumed I meant “blasé” instead of the more likely “bald” or in reality “blade” — what is that about? Dat’s dumb.)
But, it does have the loveliest auto-save feature. Seamless and in the background, or you can manually disable it if you don’t want to for some reason. Speaking of autosave, WP’s is pretty decent, so you were’t typing your rant into WP, eh? So Windows and Word conspired against you?
Let’s string Bill up.
Found my way here via the Webmiztris. Thought I would say hello.
Not to come to Bill’s defense or anything, but you should also blame the PC manufacturer for poor design. Your power button shouldn’t shut down the PC unless you hold it for a while. This prevents the the child that likes to push things from destroying your most excellent post. Being an IT guy myself, I get to deal with issues like this every day.
Your daughter sounds like a true free spirit. I’m sure she’s going to be much trouble as a teenager.
“A spider’s going to get in your cooch.â€
That was high-sterical!
Schad,
What is this Final Draft you speak of? Is it free? No, I wasn’t using WP. Should’ve been though. Dammit all.
Vince,
Welcome! If you come by often enough you will see that I often make the most asinine mistakes. And Baby always notices when my attention isn’t on her 100%- and works quickly to remedy that.
I’m afraid you’re right about her spirit. It looks like she has a lot of my personality. No fears, though. Lil’ Miss is prepping me for what’s ahead with Baby.:) I’m sure I’ll be heavily medicated by the time the toddler makes it to 16.
Jeff,
Didn’t even faze her. What a hoot. I’m sure some old lady drove past and was just flabbergasted.
I don’t have a stripper at my house, but Connor is a murderer. He walks all over the house shooting everything POW POW!!! POW POW!!!!…even the house plants (that are fake) and will then proudly announce….Mommy DIE!!!! Daddy DIE!!!!! in the sweetest, most amused voice.
I think I may be raising a serial killer.
OMG, Nikki! That’s hilarious. You know, if we got Connor and Baby together in 15 years they could be quite the couple. Not sure if I’d want to see it, but it would be very interesting.
it sucks that you lost your post! ugh, hate that! blogger has an autosave feature now and I love it. it autosaves like every 30 seconds or minute or something…
I’m a stripper…lol that’s definitely going to be gold!
Webmiztris,
It was actually a draft of an article I was writing. Of course, it was fuckered up after that and I could reproduce it. That sucked donkey balls. WP autosaves…I think. Hmm. I have tested that on the 2.2. Guess I might as well do it now.:)
“A spider’s going to get in your cooch.â€
That was high-sterical!
I don’t know ’bout you, Jeff, but I am sooo glad we didn’t have a girl.
O’Tim,
If she was a boy I would have said “A spider’s going to eat your dong.” Hee hee. I’m horrible like that.