Some guy in New Zealand invented a toilet that relies on worms to do the dirty work. This is supposed be an alternative to septic systems. So folks that don’t have the luxury of a public sewer system can decide to put those little Rid-X bacteria in their poo or stick some worms down their pipes. The visuals I’m getting are making me gag. For real.
Anyway, this guy puts some worms down the toilet. Worms. What happened?
The New Zealand inventor of a worm-driven composting toilet has flushed away concerns from bureaucrats that the system traumatised the wriggly creatures, local media reported Sunday. Coll Bell, who built the "wormorator" as an alternative to septic tanks, was asked to get an expert’s report on its mental impact on the tiger worms after an official became concerned during a site visit, the Sunday Star Times said. "She felt that the worms were being unfairly treated, being expected to deal with human faeces, and that it could affect them in a psychological way," Bell told the newspaper. "I said, ‘Well, what do I do about that?’ and she said, ‘You have to have someone with the necessary qualifications to say the worms are happy’." [emphasis mine]
Traumatized worms? Really? What the fuck is wrong with people? Worms like to eat shit. As a matter of fact, if I went to the local dairy farm and bought a ton of cow shit, put some worms in it, a few months later I’d have some damned fine (and expensive) garden fertilizer- because the worms eat the cow shit and make their own shit, and, well, I guess flowers like that…um…shit.
What happens when something dies in the forest and there are no buzzards around? The worms gourge themselves. What happens with Hunter John has to take a dump in those same woods? You think the worms care if the crap is from John or if it’s a dead possum1 ? Of course not. They will wriggle their little, nasty bodies down deep and eat ’til they can’t eat no more. Then they’ll have little baby nasty things and those babies will most happily eat whatever shit comes their way. Hello! That’s what worms are for!
Right?
Anyway, Worm guy got a reprieve.
The Auckland Regional Council’s concerns went down the pan after vermiculture consultant Patricia Naidu found the worms in excellent health and breeding happily.
Hallelujah! We can all rest well tonight.
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4 Comments
Actually, the worms might care where the shit comes from. There are differences in both digestive systems and diets from species to species, resulting in a different “product.” All are palatable to someone, but most don’t like it all. Consider the types of manure we use for our gardens (cow, bat) and those we do not (horse, human).
So, rather than the utterly ridiculous question of whether the worms are happy, the question is whether those are the best worms for the job. Is that the type of worm that will thrive the best on human feces while in turn producing the least harmful (or even a useful) waste product? And another good question - is it possible for any reason to have TOO MANY of these things around?
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.
And ew.
Joe,
You know I love ya, right? Ok, well, I’m trying not to get all technical because to me poop is poop and worms are worms. Ya know?
Miz Uv,
You know I couldn’t resist that picture right?
P.s.
By the way, Joe, I couldn’t put worms down my own toilet. When I was young, my grandmother had an outhouse and when I had to go I would always worry that a snake was going to bite my cooch. No lie. (My brother told me that snakes did that shit and I believed him. )