((I’m listening to the Fisher Price Little People Christmas CD, as Lil’lady sings her heart out on karaoke)) I’ve been in a real funk lately1 . And what happens when I get in a funk? I do two things:
- Shop for a new theme.
- Stumble around the net aimlessly.
For those that don’t know, I’m a theme-a-holic. I love to change my theme. And when I do that I have to tweak it, which means that I break it2, and I spend lots of time getting it just right. I’ve done this quite a few times and my regulars are used to it. Usually they just secretly curse me, keep a way for a while, and someone finally says “This one! I like this one! Stop IT NOW!!”. It’s a sickness with me, really.
This time I didn’t find anything I really wanted to mess with too much. Or maybe I just didn’t have the energy to muck it all up, so I just looked and sighed and didn’t download (well, mostly…heh). So then I started Stumblin’.
I use StumbleUpon and Entrecard (now) to do this. I stumble aimlessly from page to page, looking for something to lift my spirits. I’ve found some really good sites this way. Anyway, I’m in a funk and I truly expect someone somewhere to have produced something to raise my spirits. It’s their job, isn’t it? Unfortunately, I must have missed that one thing, so…
Can I just say on thing that irritates the shit out of me though? Ok, let me preface this by saying I don’t mind ads per se. I don’t mind that folks are monetizing their blogs and fully expect them too. Dolla, Dolla bills, y’all! But I hate when I have to roll my little mouse more than two times to get to the content because the damned adsense ads (all 2390 of them) are sitting on top of the posts. C’mon, people! I know you’re just out for some clicks3, but I swear to the gods I will start putting curses on every page I stumble upon that looks like that. Put your damned ads under the content and, I dunno, beside it. Don’t make me scroll, yo, because I will get out the voodoo dolls. Don’t make me do that. Karma will kick my ass for it, but it will be so worth it.
Another thing that bothers me, is seeing the name “John Chow” hyperlinked 500 times in one post. Here’s a clue to all of you who are trying so hard to link bait him (and this goes for you freaks doing that with Markos of the Big Orange) he doesn’t give a flying monkey’s butt. STOP IT! He’s not going to see that one page out of 5,098,723 that are linking to him that one day, stop over and VOILA! link out to you. Please, for the love of all that’s good and holy, figure out another way to get famous. Trying to remake yourself into that one A-Lister by practically begging for attention is not going to help you. And for those of you just trying to rank for that dude’s name? That’s just idiotic and you look like a fool. STOP IT! There must be something special about you. Right? Why don’t you capitalize on that?
See? Even my second favorite hobby has been ruined for me and can’t bring me out of my funk. I should really find and then partake in some good Mary Jane. Ya know? Everything’s funny when you’re smokin’ the wacky tabacky. Joe, can I borrow your bong? I promise not to clean it.
Also, I just found out one of my classes was canceled, so I’ll have to register for a class with Prof. I-Don’t-Know-That-Technology-Advances, wherein I will spork my eyeballs out and curse him under my breath every single Monday. Bah! Oh! And I haven’t been watching t.v. or reading the news, so I don’t care know who won N.H. primaries. Please don’t tell me.
I’m pretty sure I’m done bitching for this episode. Tune in next time when JJ flips a lid and curses mightily.
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13 Comments
Sorry about funk. I’m sort of funkily bipolar these days: things are going really well in some areas of my life, and then there’s the Other Thing that some peeps know about. So I get all happy, and then remember I shouldn’t be. Then I feel guilty for forgetting about it for a minute. Then I get mad. I’m especially annoyed I don’t believe in God, because now would be a great time to yell at him/her.
Anyway, you should do some blogsurfing via 365. Some of those peeps have pretty cool-looking designs.
I understand. It sucks, huh? Gah!
I keep forgetting I signed up for that. Oh well. I lost already anyway.
The pressure!
I’ll check it out later.
I’m in a pee war with that fucking Heifer and I could sure use some of that Mary Jane yo…
You got to love those blogs that have so many ads you can’t even find the content. Bleech and they always have a fake RSS Feed sybscriber number up on their blog too because we all know you can over a thousand real subscribers and only two short, dull posts. Idjits. The whole lot of them!
Karen,
I have confidence in you! You will be VICTORIOUS!
AntiBarbie,
Howdy!
I wish I could just poke each one of those bloggers right in the eye just for causing me to waste so much time. Argh.
I’m going to make a fake feedburner chicklet too and make sure everyone sees that the whole Intertoobs is subscribing to me. Wheee!!!
hehehe!! I think I found myself in you… my line is ..I am not really blogging.. I’m into changing template after template
are you going to believe that I stumbled into your blog because I am looking for a theme that will make me sleep afterwards? my golly it’s 2:36 am 
I’ll love to change my theme as often as I change my panties but unfortunately I’m not one with Teh Good Ol’ HTML. I like your current theme, it’s clean and simple, and easy on the eye.
Some people always take it too far (talking about that 500junky).
Sorry you couldn’t find anything to brighten your day :S
I can only offer some goofy dog pictures or weirdos from Kuwait
I was theme-hopping this morning! I’m not really tired of my theme per se…I just really wish I could have it as a three-column page instead of just two!
Way to bash the linkbaiters! But don’t be so hard on those playing on his name. They’re just using it as a pun. Nice blog.
I’m with you. I might possibly scroll down to read once, but it would have to be amazing for me to deliberately return. Of course if the left side is a blog and the entire right half of the page is advertising links, I might laugh, but some do catch my eye sometimes.
manilenya,
Welcome! Thanks for stumbling in. My blog buds hate it when I change my theme (I do it too often, I think), but I can’t help myself. I’m addicted!
Lis,
When I first started blogging I started getting addicted to learning HTML. No I’m in college getting a degree so I can do it professionally. Ha! In the interest of full disclosure, I’m becoming an expert at WP simply because I break my blog so often (I like to call it tweaking, you know). My current theme is just tweaked with my cute critters in the header. I thought I’d keep it simple this time.
Nicole,
Welcome! I’d be very much interested in seeing silly pooches.
Oh, and ranting always makes me feel better too. I used to be way better at it. Alas, I’m losing my edge. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Lisa,
Howdy! And welcome.That’s where I always get into trouble. I think “I really like this theme if only it were more…” then I whack it into pieces. I would offer to hook you up with a third column, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t get it done.
I suck anymore. Have you considered adding some stuff to your footer? I’ll hunt around for the code to do that and post it here if you’re interested.
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Leon,
Welcome! Some of them are just using it for laughs. Like me. I think it’s hilarious. I think most go too far. Like that one dude that even called his blog “I make money by telling people how to make money” (or whatever). Bah! Creativity, originality and personality. Keep that in mind. Thanks for joining the conversation.
David,
I don’t mind the ads in the sidebars or beneath the content. I think I’m ad blind at this point (and sidebar junk blind). I can’t stand when there are ads stacked on top of the content. I won’t take the time to read it because I figure it’s not important to the blogger anyway (the ads are, right?).
If the ads are away from the content I’ll read. No prob.
Thanks for stopping by and taking a minute to comment. I appreciate that.
I LOVE Mary Janes!
Oh wait, you didn’t mean the candy, did you.
I recommend really loud, angry heavy metal for your funk. Find So What (Metallica’s version). Maybe that will do the trick.