A Biopsy

I mentioned my worry that my health issues will head south. I didn’t mention why I would say that. I try not to appear “whiney” and don’t want anyone to feel bad for me. It’s weird. Except for when my husband cheated, I don’t really put those kinds of things on this blog (and really that issue went to a private blog that accessible by invitation only).  So…

I’ve been having some issues with my reproductive apparatus the last year or so. When I went for my yearly checkup last year, they did a work up and told me to “wait and see”, so I didn’t really worry a whole lot. I’m getting older and my hormones are crazy. I am, sadly, premenopausal. *sigh* What ya gonna do? So, I continue on with my life—dealing with stuff like child rearing, school, my FMS and the husband’s layoff/callback/layoff.

Here’s where I get a little personal regarding the female parts. Guys, you may want to look away. This is a long one, folks.

This is your final warning!! Female reproductive discussion ahead!

Then my cycles became crazy. I started becoming so fatigued I’d fall asleep any time I sat down. I figured it was my hormones and Fibromyalgia getting out-of-hand again. I’m used to that stuff. I just loaded up on more caffeine and more pain meds. I didn’t think anything of the pelvic pain that I was having or the absurd amount of blood I was losing during the visits from Aunt Flow. It irritated the shit out of me that I was doing the two weeks on-two weeks off thing.  I had to stop using tampons because it always felt like I had something else up there and it was painful. At one point I thought I’d forgotten one and that was some serious nastiness—and tells me I made the right choice not to become a nurse. Anyway, it was getting bad and I was getting tired of it.

With my FMS, I don’t know if it’s just another symptom of the illness I already have or if it’s something different. When I got the flu, I didn’t even realize it until I took my temperature. It feels an awful lot like a fibro flare. I can’t tell anymore. Not the point of the post, but…

So, I’ve been all over the place with my health. And when TheMan lost his insurance last spring when he was laid off, I became one walking pre-existing condition. I got the catastrophic/bare minimum insurance offered by my work hoping to cover most of my checkups and meds, mostly. I’ve mentioned my policy before, so I won’t hash it out again. It’s certainly better than nothing. Shit, if I had none I wouldn’t even be able to get an appointment with a doctor around here. I wanted to hang on until TheMan could get his insurance again, which was supposed to be this month, but his company just got bought out and is contracting with a new insurer. So they won’t allow him to go on the plan until January.

I finally broke down and went in for my yearly exam. I didn’t mention any of my other issues when scheduling, because my insurance pays for yearly exams. Anyway, my doctor asked me if I’d had a follow-up since I was there last year¹ and I said no. Then she asked me how things were going. I almost said that everything was fine but decided to be candid with her. Fuck the pre-existing condition, right? When I finally told her about the issues with my cycle she says to me “Oh my, that’s alarming.” Um, huh? I was alarmed by her use of the word “alarmed”. Not something you really want to hear your doctor say.

I didn’t say anything at that point because I wanted her to continue her line of thinking. She wanted me to come back as soon as possible for blood work and an internal ultrasound. This was a point of discussion because of my two weeks on- two weeks off thing. I decide that it’s my stupid FMS acting up again and that nothing will show up. I’ll hear something like “You’re getting old” again and that will be that. Of course, I’m not completely at ease because of that whole “alarming” thing.

Later that week I got a call from the office to tell me that I had an indication of infection, but that it was nonspecific and I probably wouldn’t need antibiotics. I was livid because I just knew it was an STD. It wasn’t apparently. The nurse was very reassuring and told me the doctor would discuss it with me later. Then I had to go for the ultrasound and blood work.

Doc said that there were no tumors (good) and that the mass on my ovary seems to have gone away (though there was some sort of spot on it). She then went on to say that my uterine lining was thickening more than was normal. She was very careful about her words, I noticed, and refrained from any kind of “alarming” tone and words. I thought that was going to be it. I was right. It was my hormones and that damned fibro acting nuts. But no, I was wrong. She went on to say that she wanted me to come in for an endometrial autopsy “to rule out cancer”.

Huh? This was the first time I’d ever heard the dreaded C-word mentioned at my Gyn office. Usually it was “your hormones” and “your age” and “that’s completely normal. She didn’t seem overly anxious, but then I suppose doctors are like that so as not to cause distress with the patient. Right? She explained the procedure and what would be done if there was no cancer found. She explained how we’d go about getting Aunt Flow to chill the fuck out. She assured me that all of this was almost risk-free. Blah blah blah.

She didn’t explain what we’d do if they found cancer. She didn’t tell me what made her want to rule it out. And I didn’t ask. I don’t know why I didn’t ask, but I didn’t. I just nodded my head like an idiot. I went down the hall to make the appointment and was surprised that I was going to get in almost right away. Usually they’ll wait to make sure my lady bits are cooperating. Not this time. As soon as possible. Ugh.

Then I got the bad news.

The procedure is going to cost $510². They’re going to call to see if my insurance will cover it and, if so, how much they will cover. I am responsible for the rest of the payment at the time of the procedure. If the insurance doesn’t cover it then there goes the Christmas money because I’ll have to pay the whole thing then. That’s the part that really freaked me out. I mean, really, I’m not by any means a rich woman and I don’t know if I can justify using that much money on a procedure that will come back negative.

I’ve read people say about those of us who want this HCR no matter what that we should pay the bill when it comes in (meaning when the office sends out the bill) but what do we do in this situation? When the doctors are expecting payment up front? I’m struggling with deciding on whether to reschedule my appointment until January when my school refund money comes in. If it comes down to it, I might have to do that anyway. Seriously, this is ok? This is the status quo and HCR opponents want it to stay this way. Even progressives who oppose the concessions in the bill want it defeated because it doesn’t go far enough. But by defeating it this stays the same system we have now.

I’m screwed either way. I am, at this point, convincing myself that it’s just my hormones because I’m getting older and everything else is just my fibro acting up. Nothing is really wrong and so I can wait until I save up money (or get my school refund in January). I’ve waited a year already, so I can wait a couple more months. My husband, who upon hearing that they wanted a biopsy immediately said “How much is that going to cost?”, agrees with me. And so I’ll probably reschedule and put it out of my mind until I can get the biopsy without struggling to pay the bill. There’s certainly nothing coming out of the Congress that’s going to ease this burden, is there? Is that a good thing? Is that better for the country, for me, that this bill dies—the bill that will contain restrictions on denying care for preexisting conditions or caps on the amount of payment from the insurance companies? Fuck that shit. That pisses me off. And now these motherfuckers in Washington want to wait until next year to continue with the debate. Lovely, huh? Because no one really needs this bill.

At any rate, I’m almost convinced that I’m basically fine. I’ve lived in misery for a while now, I’m sure I can manage two more months. If I do have cancer (which I don’t, by the way) it wouldn’t be ovarian or cervical cancer, so my prognosis would be pretty good— 95% if it’s caught early. Imagine if I was facing a diagnosis of ovarian cancer and had to pay for the tests up front because I didn’t have decent insurance. Imagine if I had some form of aggressive cancer and had to wait for the tests and/or treatment because my insurance refused to pay and I didn’t have money for it. I’d drop dead from lack of decent health care—just like millions of other people do every year. This is both an insurance crisis and a health care crisis. I should be able to find a doctor to at least do the test on a sliding scale. Imagine if my prognosis was more severe? Is it ok to keep things exactly as they are?

Yup, this is personal. I imagine that if I were in Canada or somewhere in Europe, my doctor would send me for the tests and I’d be more worried about the results than the cost. But I’m thinking “Shit, Christmas is next month! My kids can’t go without Christmas.” And that pisses me off like you can’t imagine. It pisses me off that both my husband (who gets his health care through the socialist VA) and my mother (who had both Medicaid and Medicare) bitched about the cost of the test before asking me why I was even having the test. The fucking cost. I’d say that the cost isn’t important, but it really is. That’s the reality millions of Americans face every year. That’s my reality right now. Good grief, but it’s time for the status quo to change.

By the way, I’m not looking for any kind of financial help. So, please don’t think that. I didn’t write this to drum up donations or anything. If I find that I’m in dire physical straits at some point in the future, I’ll hit you up. But right now I want to reassure you that I’m not holding my hand out or looking for sympathy. I’m just relaying my story.

And, as always, please excuse any typos and/or grammatical errors. I should proof read prior to publishing, but I don’t. You’d think I wasn’t me if I had something without errors. *heh*

Popularity: 4% [?]

1. I go to a clinic and my usual practitioner was unavailable so I decided to see another doctor so I could get in sooner. [↩]
2. I’ll happily provide a scanned image of the document I had to sign that shows the cost and payment procedure if someone doesn’t believe me. [↩]

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1. Riding My Pink Pony
2. Yes, I am Selfish
3. I Can’t Imagine
4. I Have Way Too Much Time
5. Wherein I Lose my Damned Mind