I have been so incredibly busy for the past week and however long that I’m getting nothing on this blog done. And that’s a good thing. It’s not all school work right now. A friend of mine actually invited me to join him on a project and I’m working on that too¹. This is so awesome² I can’t even tell you just how awesome it is³. I’m taking a break right now because my brain is getting clogged with trying to get the margins just right.

So, I’m working on this project and looking around at some different tech sites for various tools⁴. I love reading web tech information. I love how tutorials are generally written and I love how straight forward the folks who comment are. Most of what I’ve seen has been written by men, which it typical because most coders (I’ve noticed in my wanderings) seem to be male. That’s fine with me. I knew that my chosen field was pretty male dominated when I decided to get into it.

I do notice, though, that most of the tech males⁵ that I encounter seem to take me a lot less seriously because I’m female. If I pretend to be a male online I seem to get a lot more respect from community members. Not so much if they know I’m not carrying my reproductive organs on the outside of my body. I was slightly irritated about that the other day when I had a discussion with my friend. He suggested that perhaps I adopt a masculine pseudonym while working online and, well, I’m seriously considering it. Just because I don’t want to be given the brush off just only because of my gender– and that has happened to me a couple of notable times in the very recent past.

This only became an issue with me on a personal level because I’ve noticed that I’m expected, as a female, to behave a certain way. And if I don’t behave that way then I’m perceived in a negative light. I’m more straight-forward than most people appreciate from a woman and that’s gotten me into problems– to the point that I’ve considered prefacing everything I say with “I’m sorry…” just to get that shit out of the way. Women are expected to be more gentle and “considerate”⁶ whereas men are supposed to be more direct when dealing with issues. Women aren’t perceived to be able to function well when faced with technical issues because our brains aren’t supposed to process that information. Though my brain does process that information a little differently than my male colleagues⁷ it does process the information. In fact, my brain loves that information.

I love to solve puzzles. I imagine that most people who get into coding or research or math or forensics feel the same way. They see a problem and want to find a way to fix it. Actually, I guess I could go further than the more “intellectual” areas and say that carpenters, plumbers, mechanics and others of that stripe love to solve puzzles– for the same reason I’ve already mentioned. We are at point A and need to be at point C, so how do we get there? The areas that I’ve mentioned are male dominated, but they aren’t populated solely by males. Females too find a field in which they can solve a puzzle– or many puzzles– on a regular basis because we love it and our brains thrive on the challenges.

But our efforts aren’t taken as seriously as the efforts of our male counterparts. Because of the stereotypes. And it goes beyond the work force. Socially we’re expected to behave differently⁸. I’ve learned to deal with that a bit better. I’m not very big on sugar coating things. I don’t know if that’s a personality defect as some have said⁹ but that’s the way I am. I say what I mean without the bullshit– sometimes to my detriment but sometimes because the bullshit needs to be end¹⁰. This is me– take it or leave it. It’s not so easy to say that in a professional setting.

I’m excited about this new opportunity. I’m really passionate about what I’m doing. Considering what’s gone on in my life the last year and some odd months, I’ve been really blessed to come onto a project like this. It just really pisses me off that I’m actually considering a masculine pseudonym so that my abilities will be taken more seriously. It pisses me off because this shouldn’t even be a consideration. The reality, though, is that I might have to do that so that what needs to be done will be done without me having to prove myself every single time. What a load of shit that is.

It’s also steeled my resolve to not be that stereotypical woman and to be exactly who I am. To all those whose feelings will inevitably be hurt because I don’t behave as you believe a woman should behave, I apologize preemptively.

1. It’s doubling as a school project and yes, he knows that.
2. I’m going to use it in my portfolio, of course.
3. Especially after everything that happened just prior to that invitation.
4. Exactly what I’m looking for and what I’m talking about isn’t important.
5. Not all of them are men, by the way.
6. Intentional use of quotes there.
7. Can I use that word yet?
8. And men, of course, are supposed to be grunting, out-of-control, meat-eating Neanderthals.
9. Or a disability as some others have said.
10. I think I’ve gotten even more direct and less tolerant of crap since I’ve been online, but mostly it’s because I’m too old for it

I missed Blogroll Amnesty Day and the celebration thereof. I actually had a post almost don’t when American Electric Power struck again. At the time I wasn’t using my dashboard to write the damned thing and flippin’ auto-save was, apparently, garbage so… Well, you know where that’s going, don’t you?

Some back ground:
One day in February 2007, an A-list blogger¹ decided that his blogroll was unfair to the little blogger folk². Back in those days, oh-so long ago, linkage was web capital. You got linked by a big blog and it wasn’t so much traffic from their link that helped, but the Google rep from their link that helped you. Alas, the A-listers decided to “reform” their rolls and off came the little dudes. Mostly they just linked to themselves at that point³.

The little bloggers struck back. “Oh, yeah? Well, we’ll show you.” And Blogroll Amnesty Day was born.

According to Blue Gal and skippy, one must link to blogs with less traffic than you and one must not whine that they have the less traffic of all.

I’m going to be different only so far as I’m just going to link to folks who answered my Twitter call. They obviously would like the link and so I shall give them a link (though their PR is probably higher than mine and probably their traffic⁴. I’m also going to link to blogs that are on my blogroll, whether they want it or not.

William K. Wolfrum is hilarious. I don’t even know how I found him on Twitter, but somehow he ended up in my feed. He insists that smaller blogs shouldn’t be allowed to serve in the military or get married. Can you imagine the kind of insanity either of those would cause? It’d be the end of blogging as we know it!

I started following David during the early part of the health care reform debate because his is an interesting story. He’s frustrated because his son needs this reform, so David is fighting for him. He is, honorably, trying to take down the teabaggers one at a time. I wish him luck with that as these folks, emboldened by the firebaggers, are a tough bunch to crack. Perhaps he should offer them a free buffet lunch?

El Presidente– who I follow on Twitter as notsotrue– forwarded this very thoughtful and lengthy post onto me. He (or she!) wrote a very good counter to the President’s state of the union address. It’s exceptionally well written, if I do say so myself⁵.

Now, Floyd used to post mainly about politics and I started reading his blog way back when I had my blogger blog⁶. He’s mostly doing blog techy stuff now, which I find totally awesome as I too love that stuff, so I don’t know if this technically falls within the rules of B.A.D.. I don’t care, though.

I’ve been reading Kvatch and co. for some years too (since the old blog). He’s one funny frog. They have a news service that is downright hysterical.

These are my 5 selections for Blogroll Amnesty Day. If you feel I forgot you and you’d like to see yourself there, well, leave me a comment and tell me why. Otherwise, I’ll try to catch up with more next week. Yes, I think I’ll do more “Stumblin’ My Roll” posts as those were always fun and I’d forgotten how to have fun in blogtopia (y!sctp!).

1. Atrios
2. Not the A-list
3. They pretended not to know why linkage was important and pushed the meme that it was traffic from their rolls. They knew that.
4. Stop it! PR 5 blogs are generally wider read. Just sayin’.
5. Moreso than a lot of tripe you see on the A-list blogs– or their “commuity diaries”…heh.
6. He’ll probably remember “Gratis”

First of all, I mentioned on my FaceBook page that my biopsy was normal and there was actually a story behind how I found out, but I don’t feel like getting into that right now. Thanks to all who sent along good energy for me. And a big ol’ kick in the ass to my doctor who insisted I go to her office (a half hour away) a week early, use up my last paid visit and pay the copay to hear what she could’ve told me on the phone. Woo-hoo! Gotta love it, right? Pay good money for the good news. I was supposed to be happy, but I ended up pissed. Go figure.

Secondly, I promised my friend, Dav, that I would post his videos. I’ve been slacking lately so I haven’t done it yet. He does a really good job, so check them out (and go rate them if you can). He’s a real activist and deserves many kudos for his work.

This one is SOOOO true and Dav edited it himself. Imagine if insurance companies were on the beach on D-Day.

Dav, sorry it took so long to post these! I’m a little bit slow nowadays.

Onward march! I was perusing my archives and, guess what? This month mark’s my blog’s 5 year anniversary! How awesome is that? Now, that’s not saying that Fabulously Jinxed has been alive for 5 whole years or that I’ve been blogging for only 5 years, it only means that I have archives going back 5 years.  If the Web Archive had available copies of my old blogs going back further than that, I would have copied those entries here. Considering they were pretty long, boring and religious, you should count your lucky stars that they were lost in the Internets black hole. Le

I started sometime after my son was diagnosed (in utero), which was 2003, on GeoCities. That was basically just the chronicling of my pregnancy. I also did some writing on Delphi Forums back in the day. GeoCities was the shit back then. Oh, I remember we all had our memorial pages (in my Potter’s Syndrome group) and that was oh-so cool for me. That was when I learned HTML for the first time. And, yes, there were animated GIFs on those pages.

Then I moved to LiveJournal. It was way cool back then. I did that mostly for the Pagan community. Considering what I was going through, I was searching for a divine answer and, since I’m not Christian, community with like-minded souls. The Delphi Forum was filled with Christians who were shocked that I didn’t believe like them. And so I turned to the LiveJournal and BeliefNet communities (BeliefNet for the boards, of course, there were no blogs there then).

Then I became pregnant with Lil’lady and somewhere in my 3rd Trimester I started actually liking the baby inside me. So, my blogging (journaling, at the time) took yet another turn. I became a “mommy blogger”. Holy shitballs! I wrote about my healthy pregnancy, and when she was born, my healthy baby. Oh, the fun! There was a lot of “Here I am. Wide awake again.” type posts. I was really tired all of the time back then. And depressed. That was the fun part. Ugh. So, I lost interest in the Pagan side of things (not really, but you know what I mean) and moved again. This time I went to Blogger (I do believe this was just prior to Google buying them).

For a while I continued to write mommy posts and then I started posting in the BeliefNet politics forum. Some of those people would get me so fired up! I would go back to my Blogger blog and rant away. And thus my addiction to politics was born. Even back then I would respectfully (to the best of my ability) debate on the forum, but go blow my top on the blog. I was way better then. I did research, provided links and actually made coherent sentences! That, of course, was prior to my Fibromyalgia. Anyway, that blog turned political and, pretty soon, got to be a little bit well-know (which I really didn’t like). When I was writing well, I couldn’t be stopped. I was known by a different pseudonym then and had a few contacts in the “important” lefty blogosphere. We had fun poking wingnuts and I was even trolled hilariously. Then I wanted to do some personal blogging, but wanted it to be separate from my political stuff.

That’s when I bought my first domain name and uploaded my first WordPress blog. I have no idea when that was exactly, but the name was so fucking corny I’m embarrassed to even repeat it. I didn’t do a whole lot with that blog, I don’t think. A few posts here and there. Back then linkage was actually worth something and I remember some guy linking to me out of pity. It was funny because my blogger blog did so well and this guy thought I was a newb. I loved it. At any rate, I stumbled upon a certain blog “review” site and in the course of reading some links came across a blog called “Ultra Violet” and another called “Awaiting Xtasy”. I helped Awaiting with her HTML code (and we became quick friends) and UV (ha!) was having some issues about pit bulls and I was all on her side—or something. That was a REALLY strange situation. Anyway, we too became friends (along with a few folks from Miz UVs regular reader brigade). I then went on to meet many other wonderful people—Vince, Kelly, Monique, Steph, Tim, Dav and, my secret crush, SG (If I forgot you, please accept my apologies and, please, remind me in the comments).

So, things evolved and I bought a new domain, called Fabulously Flawed and made that my new political blog. Then I got sick of having two blogs and combined them again. Then, I don’t even remember why, I changed my fake-name and my blog’s name (to Fabulously Jinxed) and combined everything again. Apparently, I’m not afraid of change.

And here we are.  I repurchased Fabulously Flawed (I don’t know why someone didn’t snatch it up because the second I deleted my blogger blog someone got it AND it’s page rank) and haven’t really done anything with it. I was going to make it my tech heaven, but, shit, I can’t even blog here with any regularity anymore. I’m probably going through one of my phases and will once again regale you with tales of drunk neighbors and crazy mothers. Or whatever it is I’m focused on at the moment. Right now I’m kind of just in my own little world and thinking about stuff that seems like it doesn’t belong here. So, I’m actually considering yet another blog. I’m pretty sure I won’t do it though because, really, do I need another one? No. I think I just like setting them up and thinking up stupid names. I dunno. I confuse the hell out of myself. Ha!

I will tell you that I’m planning on killing my FaceBook page. I think I’ll go to the Google Reader thing to keep up with those of you in hiding (you know who you are), but FaceBook is killing me with their Mafia Wars and Farmville shit. Did I mention I have an addictive personality and I just want to get to level400!!! OMG! I don’t really even interact on there either (those of you not my friends on there aren’t missing anything). I suck at FaceBook. And I will kill that account at some point in the near future. I’m sure you won’t miss my “You’ve found a lost cat!” posts. And I’m pretty sure some people have actually blocked me on there. My bad. Please accept my most sincere, addicted apology. Pffft.

Oh, and when I do kill that account I’ll be sure to check my email more regularly (haven’t opened that thing in days). My bad again. I really need to find better ways to waste my time.

I’m not killing my blog. What are you crazy? I will have one blog or another for the rest of my days—even when blogs become obsolete and no one can make money off of them anymore (I can’t wait for those days!). Though I may be going dark for a couple of days if I don’t pay my host on time (please, gov’mint, send my money!). I’m way too vain to through all of my hard work down the tubes. Seriously, isn’t my skunk just adorable? C’mon, admit it!

Since school let out for the semester I’ve had way too much time on my hands to worry about this damned health insurance reform “debate”. You know, the one where supposed Progressives are tearing other supposed Progressives to shreds? Yeah, that one.

Now, I’ve learned that because I’m for the bill, I :

have never been poor.

They can’t have been.

Either that or they’ve simply forgotten that money only stretches so far.

They make six-figure salaries doing god-knows-what, and they can’t even begin to relate to those of us who are in that $20K to $40K range. They just can’t.

They are like the Congressional Democrats. THEY aren’t hurting, so why in the world should YOU be?

Well, isn’t that spayshul. I’m for this bill because I’m living high off the hog in my castle, my life right as rain. Everything is honky flippin’ dory in my little world.

Except wouldn’t that go the other way? If I were so well-off and able to make these kinds of decisions with a flip of my ever-flowing (and impeccable) hair, then wouldn’t I stand on principle and demand to kill this fucking thing because it’s not exactly, to the smallest detail, what I’ve been told I want?

Kind of like the person who made the above comment. I mean, obviously, Brooke in wherethefuckever, is so well off that she (or he) can throw it all to the wind and ride this fucking train wreck to the end. This person can obviously stand firm in her belief that “It’s either perfect or KILL IT!” Apparently, the above commenter, so sad that her idol and the most bomb-diggity (paid) activist¹ on all of the GOS² and Twitter, isn’t worshipped by all, can’t fathom that the good parts of this motherfucking bill are worth fighting for– even by people who are making less than $250k a year (Good fucking grief, I wish!)– because some of us need this shit.

I’ve also run across an analysis that says, surprise!, that the penalty for refusing to pay for the mandated insurance is without teeth. There is no penalty. And this was provided by someone who, surprise!, is reading the bill. Not some goddamned twit who’s getting her talking points from a paid lackey of a woman who just wants to see her fucking face on the teevee.

1. At $400 a week, which is twice what I make.
2. The Great Orange Satan aka DailyKos

I have learned (or maybe I already did know but forgot about it) that my insurance only pays for 5 doctors visits a year. That’s it. In the last two months I’ve been three times because of my uterine “issues”– for which I’m due another visit. Tuesday I go for a fourth visit as I’ve found a Fibromyalgia specialist to see here in town. New Years eve will be the fifth because I’m to go back to the doctor for my biopsy results.

So, I was wondering what would happen if this insurance bill passes (I imagine something between the House and Senate versions). According to the Kaiser Family Foundation subsidy calculator I would be eligible for Medicaid. Not only that, but I could drop my employer’s plan to get it. And if I didn’t want Medicaid (because Medicaid doctors generally suck) I could look online for a better plan than I have and be able to purchase it. Because of that simple ability I would have a more affordable choice– at least if history and current trends are any factor. The provider with the best benefits for the least amount of money would get the most customers, right? At least that’s what I’ve been reading and hearing. When I’m not reading the manufactured outrage from the Purists who think we should have it all– or nothing.

They were pissed off that the public option wasn’t good enough. Their goal was to get us all to call our Democratic representatives (because us Democrats eat our own) and tell them how much they suck. This was after they did the stories and letters and reading the names of the dead– which seemed to be working, especially among the public at large (those people in the “middle” who seem to get all the attention). Except some of the louder voices on our side wanted on t.v. So we were told to be pissed at every fucking body and get our every demand met. Well, we see how well that worked out don’t we?

We’ve got women dying at alarming rates due to heart disease but these purists would rather focus on the “compromise” provided to Ben Nelson to secure his vote. They scream that women are going to die because some states and some insurance plans will be able to opt-out of providing abortion coverage. Do they give a flying fuck about the number one killer of women in America? Apparently those lives just don’t matter.

Nearly twice as many women in the United States die of heart disease, stroke and other cardiovascular diseases as from all forms of cancer, including breast cancer.

Or what about the women, particularly women of color¹, who die each year because of complications from something as treatable as diabetes? There are women who are dying right now that could have benefited from this bill. But the purists say “NO! There’s not enough abortion coverage! Fuck those women!”

What about the women who go without going to the doctor and getting screened early for such diseases as cervical, breast and/or uterine cancers– all of which have higher survival rates when the disease is caught on time? Well, say the Purists, these women would then have to pay for their treatments and then BANKRUPTCY!! But which is better? A dead woman or a bankrupt woman?

What about the women who suffer, I as do, from Fibromyalgia? Or those with chronic depression? What about the multitudes of other diseases that primarily affect women, which are under diagnosed, that would be treated had these women had access to a fucking doctor? Those women don’t matter because they’re not trying to get an abortion? Give me a fucking break.

As far as I’m concerned, this is just as bad as those fuckers on the other side who scream “Every child is precious!” as long as that child is safely ensconced in the womb– once it takes it’s first breath they don’t care anymore. These screamers² on our side are doing so to protect a woman’s right to her own womb– without regard to her heart or pancreas or immune system or mental health. They call those of us who support this bill “paid shills” or “insurance lackeys” or “uninformed” or “dim-witted”. And yet they discount the lives of millions of women who may very well benefit from this damned health insurance bill. You want to save my womb so I can die from a heart attack? Gee, thanks.

Of course, we’re also supposed to forget the fact that Medicaid/Medicare in some states right this very minute doesn’t pay for elective abortions³. Nothing in this bill changes that. Nothing. They say that middle class women are going to suffer. Guess what? In some states, women right now can’t find a doctor to perform an elective abortion procedure for them– thanks to conscience clauses. OMG! Those aren’t addressed in either bill either! KILL THE BILL!! But we’re worried about middle class women when poor women in Ohio have to shell out $300 or more of money that could be better spent elsewhere. These are fights within the states because no one in the federal government is going to take them up. No one. And taking this bill away from the millions of people it will help isn’t making the case stronger.

Still, this bill (either of them) does a lot to address of problems that women and their fellow men have with regard to health insurance. And if I wasn’t sick right now, I’d dig up the links that support my argument (though these are from “former” Progressives– those that have “sold out” and are no longer credible, apparently). But you can start at the Kaiser Family Foundation for a PDF of their analysis on Women’s health issues with this reform. I don’t expect any purists to read the linked pages, of course, because it doesn’t prescribe a magic pill for the single issue on their mind. I add it here because I wanted to show that this is something that I’m not exactly ignorant of (though I admittedly am not as learned as some of the newest class of “sell outs” to the Progressive cause).

The status quo, to me, is no longer acceptable– for obvious reasons. Doing nothing is not better than doing something. I’m sorry. Waiting for the insurance industry to police itself– or better yet, waiting for that magical president who will fix the whole system in one fell swoop– doesn’t do anyone any good. At least it doesn’t do anyone any good who really needs the help. Doing nothing, killing the bill, leaves them exactly where they were before this debate even began. I thought we were trying to improve that situation. I didn’t get my pony either, goddamn it, but that doesn’t mean I want shit to stay exactly the same as it is. Something has got to start changing and guess what? This is a start.

1. “For African American women, the diabetes death rates are the highest in terms of both underlying cause (49.6 per 100,000) and multiple causes (156.5 per 100,000)”
2. A title bestowed upon the Purists by someone whose name escapes me.
3. I’ve been told this term is offensive to the Purists. How sad.